Judging You Judged by Me

Judging YouI try really hard not to be judgemental of people. I appreciate that we all come from different backgrounds, our home lives are different, different jobs etc etc.

I also try not to believe everything I read/see in the Media because I know how they can twist things to their advantage.

However, flicking through my phone last night and I came across this story. It’s on the Daily Fail website so I won’t link to it (they’re  notorious for making stuff up) – but can pictures lie?

The article is about a Mother of 9, expecting number 10, and how she blames it all on her middle class “loveless” childhood.

Natalie Cann and her partner Leigh Miller hit the headlines last week too, when they demanded that their local council give them a bigger property and complained about their damp and cramped conditions inside their  3-bed house. There was a big backlash that followed, especially as the couple are unemployed and in receipt of £38,000 of benefits per year.

This new article is a bit of a continuation of the first one, and included pictures of the crammed family, with mouldy walls and sullen looking faces. It also pictured 2 rather large televisions.

According to the article, Natalie Cann comes from a fairly good background and although she was adopted as a baby, she grow up an only child with a Bio-Chemist father and her mother a nurse and looked fairly happy in the childhood photographs pictured.

Miss Cann and Mr Miller invited the Daily Fail journalist in to their home – one can only imagine that the lucrative story fee and with Christmas approaching lured them in. The journalist pointed out that the couple were spouting off about how they are entitled to a bigger home (and from the article it seems that they also want a bigger car to transport their family in).

It’s reported that Miss Cann is “sick of being criticised” and (I love this quote) “‘Whether I work or whether I’m on benefits, it’s still their obligation to sort it out” – Sort what out exactly? Having children is a decision that a couple make. I am all for large families – if you can afford them! Thankfully most large families are honest working people – and the kind of families the press report on are a minority, but it still makes people think that this is what all larger families are like. We’re not – believe me!!

Natalie Cann goes on to say that it was her choice to have the children (obviously) but “I tried three different sorts of Pill. Four of these children have come through on different sorts of contraception. Now is that my fault? Should I go and have an abortion every time just to please everybody else out there criticising me?” – so she is saying that 4 of her children were accidents? Now, accidents happen – I appreciate that as contraception is not 100% effective. We ourselves have been caught out on the pill, which is why we don’t use it… but there are other forms of contraception. The pill is not the only way if you want to practice family planning. There are implants, injections, the coil? Not mention, although a little more extreme, sterilisation. But what about Leigh, her partner? Surely he has a part to play too? Condoms are easily available off the shelf and a form of contraception… or how about a Vasectomy – it’s free on the NHS you know!!

I just do not understand how a family can live in the type of house they are living in. There are nice TV’s on the walls, playstation’s etc – but they cannot afford to  buy the cleaning products and paint that their home requires. Mould can be easily treated with cleaning products, paint and good ol’ airing the rooms. I am sorry, but there is no excuse to live with that amount of mould growing on your walls.

I also cannot help but think that if things are so tight, then you sell items that you have to raise some cash. Do you really need a 50inch plasma TV hanging off your wall? How about sell it and invest in some books?

Miss Cann also decided to hit back at families where parents are struggling to pay childcare with the line ‘Why did they have kids in the first place if they can’t look after them?’ – I’m sorry love, but you are completely wrong here! A lot of working mothers would love the opportunity to stay at home with their babies. It’s all about providing for your children, giving your children a decent WORK ETHIC. It’s not about not wanting to look after them. It’s about teaching them to do the right thing and provide for their families.

I really hate reading stories like this, and I appreciate that they can be blown up out of proportion – but seriously… is THIS what our country is coming to? Have a large family, please do – I believe children are a gift and a blessing and we should all walk that path – but please, install a decent work ethic in your kids. Show them the right path to walk down. Show them that you don’t get something for nothing. To succeed in life you need to work, you need to be the best person you can be. You need to take care of yourself, your family and you need to prove people wrong …. all the time!

No one likes to be judged, but we do do it. I am guilty of it – as I have just proven in this article. But be the BETTER person and SHOW those who judge you that they were wrong…that you can get things sorted, that you can look after your children and home and that you can work and that you can show your children that there are great things to be had from earning that money you spend!

 

 

*photo credit: digitalart on freedigitalphotos.net

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4 Comments

  1. November 4, 2013 / 3:56 pm

    Well said you! Honestly this kind of stuff is what gives the Daily Fail such a bad name….tbh the joke was on that family cos the paper is just trying to highlight them as a bad lot and a drain on society. I just feel for the kids really, like you say, what kind of lesson are they teaching them – don’t bother to keep your house nicely or clean it, or work, just spend any money you get from the state on Plasma TV screens!

    • November 4, 2013 / 4:04 pm

      Thank you. I do truly believe that there are 2 things wrong with our society – 1. The government have made it too easy for people to claim benefits, so we have gotten lazy and just expect handouts. 2. Our work ethic has diminished. We are living in a society where we expect handouts.

      What message are we sending our children if we cannot be bothered to get a job? Yes, I know there is a recession going on, but it does not mean that you cannot install decent morals in to your children. Job search, become an entrepreneur, volunteer…do anything – but please, teach kids that working is GOOD! It’s good for them and it’s good for society. They shouldn’t be expected to be handed everything on a plate.

  2. November 5, 2013 / 12:03 am

    I was so angry by the time I had read that article. It takes ten minutes to get rid of mould (or at least keep it at bay) if you start when it appears. To let any child live that close to that level of mould is child neglect, in my eyes anyway. I’m surprised she’s not had visits from social services. I’d love to see into the future and see how many of her kids end up at uni, or even continuing to 6th form, probably none with parents like that as an example.

  3. November 6, 2013 / 9:06 am

    I agree, it is outrageous and a symptom of our culture of expectation. Our social security system was created to help those genuinely in need for a short time not as a lifestyle choice. But I also think the media is playing on middle income insecurities. those of use working with children who are squeezed to the limit – this story ignites more divide and does nothing to recitfy the problem.

    Nipping over from SimplyBloogers thread share