I try not to be moany and grouchy, after all, I have probably got a lot more than a fair few people out there and I have a beautiful family, but lets face it. I’m a moaner. I don’t like being this way, and I’m sure it probably puts off a lot of people actually wanting to talk to me incase I start my moaning.
On my Twitter, I always try to be open and always try not to grumble, knowing full well that I have an open account and everyone can see, but lately I am just having such a hard time with eldest that I can’t help but take myself to Twitter and have that little venting time, in the hope that someone out there can offer some suggestions or advise.
You see, he’s getting worse. He is 6.5 and diagnosed ADHD. He also has traits of High Functioning Asperger’s Syndrome, which at the moment is not diagnosed, due to the fact that he has an imagination apparently. I know he has Aspie’s, he shows clear signs of this with the way he interacts, or rather doesn’t socially. He has no concept of social situations or how to handle them. He does not know how to talk to people. He cannot give eye contact, to anyone. He has no fear, which can be dangerous. This is what scares us the most.
If you do follow my Twitter then you will see how difficult this past week has been for us. We have had trouble getting him to school in the morning. He is incapable of dressing himself. He can do it, he just too busy flitting that he can’t sit still for the few minutes this takes. This results him in being taken to school half-dressed. He also trashed the house before he leaves in the morning. His room is a constant mess anyway. It takes me over an hour to tidy his room, and each time I do I throw away a black bag of rubbish, literally! It’s like Steptoes yard up there!
Not only does he collect rubbish, but we have started finding scissors and knives (toddler ones, not real sharp ones although I guess it is only a matter of time?), along with Screwdrivers and things he has taken out of our bedroom. He cuts things up. Things he shouldn’t! For example, P’s tie and a rucksack have been the latest casualties to get cut.
Once we have got him off to school, its then spending the time trying to get some order back, before its time to collect him from school. I dread this. I dread his teacher calling me over to tell me what he’s been up to. I dread him starting on K as soon as they get out of the playground and then the big Kick off when he can’t go to the park or have an ice cream because it’s peeing down with rain.
Once home, he turns into his destructive self again. Dinner time is a nightmare as he refuses most of the food I make, telling us he WANTS a cheeseburger instead, or he uses blackmail against us to get what he wants. “I want ???, the doctor said I can have what I want because I’m losing weight”….I curse the doctors and dietician’s under my breath for being so open in front of him!
The hours to bedtime pass in a blur. Bedtime itself is another battle….and sometimes that’s just to try to get in his room!
He is a Jekyll and Hyde. One moment he can be fine, then its like someone flicks a switch and he is the most horrible child ever. Although I know it’s not HIM as such, it’s the behaviour that is horrid.
We don’t get any support. No one really understands what we are going through, which is why I use my Twitter a lot, as I know someone out there will be able to offer advise or help with what we can do with him!
I feel like a horrible parent a lot of the time. I spend my days screaming and shouting, then I feel guilty about it, but he just pushes my buttons. He is testing everyone’s relationships. We get invited out to family events, but have to cancel most of the time because of the way he is. I know he shouldn’t dictate to us, but please tell me HOW I can inflict him on other people. You can see the looks in their eye’s and the rolling of their eye’s, wondering why we can’t control our child.
Please someone tell me we’re not alone and that things will get easier …. because right now, I just want to curl up and cry.