It’s something I am pretty open about and always have been – except for the time when I was 15 and one of my teachers informed my mother over the phone that I was having sex with my boyfriend because the stupid idiot had told her we were. Why he told our High School teacher, I don’t know… but that’s by-the-by.
I wrote last year about how my husband and I maintain intimacy in our 13-year relationship.
Some may think that I am in the wrong for discussing such a personal subject, especially as yesterday we were featured in the Daily Mail on the same thing – but I disagree.
The article is about how often couples with children have sex and is a response to an article written the previous week by another blogger, Nat Halfpenny from Handful of Halfpenny’s. In Nat’s article. she writes about how she is no longer interested in having sex with her husband, and how just his touch makes her skin crawl.
I read Nat’s blog post when she originally wrote it, then saw it mentioned in the ‘Feature Me‘ Facebook Group. I decided to get in touch with Jill Foster, a freelance writer and editor who runs the group.
I told her about my feelings regarding the article and the piece I wrote on my blog last year. Jill asked if I would be interested in doing a response piece, and after discussing it with Paul and his agreement, we decided to do it.
For us, sex is the most natural thing in the world. It’s not something that one should be ashamed of, and it’s not something that we feel should be hidden from our children.
Of course, at 10, 9, 5 and 3, sex isn’t something that they know much about, but they are aware of intimacy and regularly witness Paul and I embracing.
Relationships are such an important part of life. I want to teach our children to make the right choices when it comes to relationships. I want them to understand how relationships should work and how it takes two people working together as a team to build a strong relationship. It just so happens that for Paul and I, sex is also a big part of our relationship building and maintaining the close bond that we have.
The article received mostly a positive response. However, there were a few ‘why do we need to know about other couples sex lives’, ‘what happens in the bedroom should stay in the bedroom’ and the odd that made the assumption that I don’t work or have a life of my own.
Those who know me, know that I run my own company, so I definitely do work, it just happens to be for myself from home – and as for not having a life of my own. They couldn’t be more wrong.
You see, although sex and intimacy are a big part of our relationship, we also think that it’s good for each other to do our own thing; when we want to of course.
We enjoy spending time with each other and with the children. But we do have our own friends and do go places without each other. Heck, I even went away last year for a week with a friend and am doing the same this June.
With regards to the comments from those thinking that we shouldn’t be so open about our sex lives – I think they’re wrong. Sex should not be a taboo subject. For goodness sakes, we teach our kids about sex and relationships in Primary School.
I would rather my children learn and understand about sex, how natural and special it is; how it bonds two people together and know that they can come to us with any questions they may have about safe sex, than them thinking it’s just something people do to pro-create.
I am glad we did the article and that as a couple we are so open about sex. It is a subject I enjoy writing about and hope I get the chance to again soon.
To read my article online – click here
To join the ‘Feature Me’ Facebook Group – click here