To my precious Angel,
It has been 2 years today since you left us and I remember it like it was yesterday. We had lost Keoni exactly 5 months 1 day earlier and I couldn’t believe this was happening again! You weren’t meant to be taken from us. I didn’t want to let you go, but I knew it was going to happen.
When I found out I was pregnant again, we were thrilled, and nervous. I asked for an early scan to check on you, but was refused by both my GP and the Midwife at our 8 week “Booking In” appointment. “There’s no reason for it to happen again” the Midwife told me. How wrong was she??
It was August Bank holiday, and I was 11+6weeks pregnant when I started spotting. It was just the once, and I hoped it was nothing. I didn’t notice anything again until 6pm on the Sunday when I had a heavy bleed. That soon stopped and I didn’t have anything else until the following evening.
I decided to call NHS Direct. I didn’t know what to do. When we lost Keoni, I had no bleeding at all. I spoke to a nurse who said it sounded like a threatened miscarriage. She advised she would get the Out of Hours Doctor to call.
He did! What an unsympathetic person he was. When I explained what was happening, his response was “Oh yes, it’s a threatened miscarriage. Put your feet up and take a pregnancy test in the morning. If it’s positive, you’re still pregnant.” I couldn’t believe what I was hearing. I burst in to tears.
The next day was my 12 week scan. It wasn’t until lunch time, so I called up the Early Pregnancy Unit and explained. They told me to attend my scheduled appointment.
I went along with Daddy and told the sonographer. They scanned me and confirmed that we had lost you, possibly 6 weeks earlier. I was devastated. What did we do to deserve having 2 babies taken from us.
I was sent home with an appointment to attend the EPU in 2 days time for another scan.
On 2nd September 2009, after a 3 hour “labour” Mummy had you at home.
I think about you all the time, wondering what you’d be like now. I’ll never forget you.
All my love, Mummy xxx
*In Memory of our Angel, Luka – Left Mummy 02/09/2009 Due 12/03/2010*